“Do you swear to provide yourself with a good gun and plenty of ammunition, so as to be ready when the nigger starts trouble to give him plenty?” And Stetson Kennedy answered to the Klansman: “I do.” But Kennedy was not another fanatic who wanted to overcome his childhood complex by joining a group of ludicrous xenophobes. No, he was the one who turned the white sheets single-handedly into a big piece of toilet paper.
The Ku Klux Klan’s rode on their horses through a history of constant ups and downs. It was after the second world war when these oversized sperms reached the uterus of anew popularity, due to postbellum uncertainty. While the Klan gave (post-belly) birth to infantile imbecilities and the men of the sacred bed sheets yelled: “just to let the niggers know the war is over and that the Klan is back on the market”, there was a man called Stetson Kennedy who intended to get the stolen bed sheets back there where they belonged.
Yet, it was not his domestic consciousness that persuaded him, rather that he saw his maid, or part-time mother, getting beaten and raped while she was tied to a tree by a gang of sperms, merely because she retorted to a driver who had ripped her off. After becoming the only white correspondent for the Pittsburgh Courier, the country’s largest African American newspaper, he thought of a plan to bring the Klan down.
Kennedy soon realized that nobody had any inside information or facts about the cross-burners and therefore intended to slip himself into the womb of all evil. “Do You Hate Niggers? Do You Hate Jews? Do You Have Ten Dollars?” Kennedy answered yes and soon got excess to all the information he needed.
Unfortunately, all the legal attempts to bring the Klan down misfired, so that he had to think about other contraceptions. Finally, he got the brilliant idea to leak all the embarrassing details and passwords to all the kids across the USA. How? He passed the information on to the writers of the radio show Adventures of Superman. Superman was tired of fighting against Hitler, Mussolini and Hirohito and was happy to fight someone different.
While the sexy journalist in red and blue tights and speedos fought against the mutant sperms, the show revealed all the secrets of the Klan. Soon every child was running around with the Klan’s secrets, passwords and everyone knew that the Klan was a rather strange organisation. For example, they called their bible the Kloran and the local Klan officer the Klaliff (strange for Christian fanatics). In addition, they often affixed Kl to their words, like Klansman and Klonversation. Very Klever!
Stetson Kenedy, who died on the 27th August 2011, is a perfect example how information can still change things to the good: superman defeated the Klan and the applications went down to nil. In times where journalist and writers believe that their ink is invisible in the light of the shallow and fast information streams, it is good to know that there might still be hope.
If you want to read “How Is the Ku Klux Klan Like a Group of Real-Estate Agents?” have a look in the book Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner.